365/3 - #7 Find Me Guilty

7. Find Me Guilty (2006)
Director - Sidney Lumet
Writers - Sidney Lumet and T.J. Mancini & Robert J. McCrea
Date of Viewing: 01/05/07
First Viewing: Yes


Mix a formerly great director (Sidney Lumet) with a lead actor I can't stand (Vin Diesel), a half-baked script which can not decide on a genre (is it a dark comedy or courtroom drama?) and bake it for too long (over 2 hours) and what do you get? Just another flop starring "The Diesel" (though to be fair, this is his best work since providing the voice of the Iron Giant back in 1999). Relying on the fact that the audience has watched The Sopranos, think Peter Dinklage is inherently funny because he's a dwarf and that they will buy into the message that being a "rat" is a terrible thing, this film couldn't be more laughable than it first seemed, when scenes were used during a career retrospective montage played when Mr. Lumet received his Lifetime Achievement Academy Award a few years back.

365/3 - #6 Double Indemnity

6. Double Indemnity (1944)
Director - Billy Wilder
Writers - Billy Wilder & Raymond Chandler
Date of Viewing: 01/04/07
First Viewing: Yes


A salient example of classic film noir at its best, Double Indemnity is the first truly great film I've viewed as part of this project. The always amazing Billy Wilder (Sunset Blvd., Stalag 17, Sabrina, The Seven Year Itch, Some Like It Hot, The Apartment) wows me yet again with a brilliant example of the power of classic Hollywood. Fred MacMurray, playing wonderfully against type, shines as a corrupted insurance salesman led astray by intoxicating femme fatale Barbara Stanwyck and caught by an excellently irascible Edward G. Robinson.

Still Fat...Just Less Fat

Diets are a bitch, but I did lose 7 lbs. in a week. Probably mostly water weight or, as I tell the Wife, elbow weight. But skinnier elbows are fashionable in Hollywood right now and what did water ever do for me. Right? Don't worry, I'm still chunky, just slightly less chunky (almost un-noticeably less chunky).

365/3 - #5 Serenity

5. Serenity (2005)
Director - Joss Whedon
Writer - Joss Whedon
Date of Viewing: 01/03/07
First Viewing: No

This awesome sci-fi action/adventure romp , based on the canceled Fox TV show Firefly, has in the last few years become my new Star Wars. JossWhedon (TV's Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel) reunites his band of lovable brigands for a big screen finale to his short lived series, delivering comedy, great special effects and edge of your seat action with aplomb. Where George Lucas' prequel trilogy fails, Whedon hatches a story filled with rich characters, excellent storylines and innovative direction.

365/3 - #4 Kicking and Screaming

4. Kicking and Screaming (1995)
Director - Noah Baumbach
Writer - Noah Baumbach
Date of Viewing: 01/02/07
First Viewing: Yes


What wonderful independent film from the mid-1990's about a group of friends who struggle to find their place in the world after college graduation will hit too close to home, especially, if you like a bartender who drinks or if you're nostalgic for conversations that you had yesterday or if you've ever flippantly stated that "oh, I've been to Prague?" Ding! Answer: Kicking and Screaming.

365 /3 - #3 Decision Before Dawn

3. Decision Before Dawn (1951)
Director - Anatole Litvak
Writer - Peter Viertel
Date of Viewing: 01/02/07
First Viewing: Yes

Based on George Howe's novel Call It Treason, Decision Before Dawn follows the exploits of a group of German POWs enlisted by the Allies to spy on the Nazis as World War II winds down. Though dated by today standards, full of post-war propaganda and possessing uninspired narration, the film's success rests on the outstanding performance of Oskar Werner (Jules et Jim, Fahrenheit 451) which propels the film through its harrowing climax. The film shines during Werner's mission behind "enemy" lines as he struggles to achieve his Allied objective in the face of his Axis countrymen's despair.

365 /3 - #2 Pretty Persuasion

2. Pretty Persuasion (2005)
Director - Marco Siega
Writer - Skander Halim
Date of Viewing: 01/01/07
First Viewing: Yes

Once again Evan Rachel Wood (Thirteen, The Upside of Anger) shines in a film I fuckin' hate. First time director Marco Siega misses the mark as this film flirts around, but never establishes the proper tone necessary for a dark comedy to succeed. In a film in which such incendiary topics as pedophilia, racism, xenophobia, and underage sexuality are so poorly addressed, it is the film's complete lack of comic understanding that offends my sensibilities the most.

365 /3 - #1 The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

1. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)
Director - Wes Anderson
Writers - Wes Anderson & Noah Baumbach
Date of Viewing: 01/01/07
First Viewing: No


A much maligned film by both critics and fans (including myself) upon its initial release, an eagerly anticipated second look at Wes Anderson's fourth feature, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, has unearthed an energetic and charming film about dysfunctional family from two current American masters of the genre (Anderson and Noah Baumbach), deserving of a much needed revisiting by both fans and critics alike. Though initially dismissed as overcooked, Bill Murray's performance anchors this film's cockeyed aesthetic as a washed-up and pompous Jacques Cousteau-esque explorer, who acts as a rudder to his ship of motley fools, highlighted by Bohemian goddess Angelica Huston, sensitive Teuton Willem Dafoe and a Kentucky fried Owen Wilson. While I admit that the film lacks the emotional presence of Anderson's masterpiece, Rushmore, or the focused insanity of The Royal Tenenbaums, Life Aquatic is a thoroughly enjoyable film, at once whimsical and thoughtful, and not be to easily dismissed as a Royal Tenenbaums redux as I had years ago.

365 Films /3 Sentences Each - The Rules

As I've stated previously, one of the main goals of this blog will be to chronicle my attempt to watch 365 films over the next year. I'm a cinephile. I love film; all genres (except Snuff), from all countries (except assholes Uzbekistan) and from all periods of history (except 1989 - fuckin' Driving Miss Daisy). There's nothing I like to do more than watch movies. I don't really need an excuse to watch a shit-load of movies, but this will help me in the coming months, to act as an excuse to waste a perfectly beautiful day by choosing to stay indoors with the lights off when the Wife wants to go outside of the apartment and enjoy the "real" world. "Sorry hon, I got that blog, remember..."

So here are the rules. It's 365 films in the year, not necessarily 1 a day. I'm not insane. I'm not going to be able to watch a movie everyday. I want to average one a day, so don't fuckin' bother me if i skip February 14th or July 7th or November 24th (mentioning a day I missed will only mark you as an asshole).

To chronicle the journey I will write a review for each film of exactly 3 sentences in length. Why only 3 sentences you might ask. Too large of a minimum review and I'll never complete this task. After a few weeks I'll get pissy, begin to look at this as homework and tell this blog to go fuck itself. The Wife suggested this length and I agree with her that it'll be a challenge to encapsulate my opinion of the film in such a limited way. Three sentences isn't a lot of room in which to articulate an opinion and that seems like a reasonable challenge to undertake.

So here we are, the Second New Year's Resolution of 2007: 365 Films / 3 Sentences Each.

Red Beans and Rice Didn't Miss...Him?

As you may have noticed from the picture I've posted, I'm a bit of a tank-ass. I've been chubby for a long time, but now I'm finally ready to do something about (mostly because I don't want to die of a heart attack in my early 30's). Now I'm not hefty due to a grand problem or because I just gave birth to a set to twins. I'm fat in the old- fashioned American way: I'm lazy and I eat too much. That being said (for the millionth time) the Wife and I have decided on a plan of diet and exercise. As Harvey from Celebrity Fit Club would say, it's time for me to "get off my lazy butt".

Today the Wife and I started on the South Beach diet and I plan to get back to running this week (I was running back in the Fall until I injured my knee bending down to pick up some towels). At the official weigh-in this morning I clocked in at 240 lbs. (a member of the super heavy-weight class). We didn't take my measurements, but, believe me when I say this, Sir Mix-a-Lot would want to get all up and in this...if I were a chick.

Goal: To get to 200 lbs. by the year's end and to be able to run a 10k without vomiting or dying.

There it is, the first New Year's Resolution of 2007.

Kickin' This Mother Off!

So it has come to this...a blog. I mean, shit, a blog. Fuck. I knew it would happen someday, I just assumed that that day would be in the year 2003. But at the ripened age of 26, as the year 2007 begins to kick out the jams, I've decided to become one with the blogosphere, to join the ranks of millions and lay bare my soul (or at least my bullshit opinions) for the the world at large to behold, and I imagine, mock. Enjoy, assholes!

Couple of things:
First, why a blog?
Good question, me. I'm a list maker at heart and this makes for an easy way in which to keep track of all the mundane details and boring shit I personally love to keep track of, without continuing to clutter up the house and bore the Wife.
Also, this forum can make a great...forum, in which people can keep tabs on the Wife and me as we prepare to move to Chicago from mid-Michigan. Let's face it, I'm a bit of a shit and don't always make the best effort to keep in touch. While I plan to change that pattern in the coming year, please think of this blog as a safeguard to all those Brad sycophants out there jonesin' for a fix of sweet, sweet Brad meat (not actual meat...it's a metaphor).
And, this blog allows me to be pompous, pretentious and self-absorbed in a whole new and exciting way. Thanks Internet!

Second, what can I expect from this blog?
That ones a bit tougher. Many great ideas are on the horizon, plus a shitload of mediocre to poor concepts. Expect drinking games, philosophical ruminations, general personal updates, and of course movie reviews. First up will be the first installment of 365 Films /3 Sentences Each, an attempt to watch a movie a day and then write a review of the film no longer than three sentences in length (though I'm only really shooting for an average of a movie a day, 365 movies by December 31, 2007).

2007 looks to be pretty kick ass, and it all starts right here. Sit back, read and enjoy. Without you none of this could be possible (which is bullshit, 'cause I'm the one doing the writing...lazy bastards). I expect big things from this blog this year. Either that or I'll fall off from writing this in about two weeks. Enjoy!

-Brad